[This was originally an Online Ad on Job seekers Website called Seek reads:]
Biotic-Powered Super-Soldier
Cerberus is a leading galactic organisation, devoted to human survival at any cost. Due to the recent disappearance of entire human colonies, Cerberus is looking for a team of elite assassins to join the fight for mankind.
This is a short-term contract to kill or be killed. You will have a passion for the mercenary industry and a natural flair for killing. Blood, guts and exploding torsos is all in a day’s work for you, and you love it!
Nothing makes you salivate more than a bloody battle, and a good, messy kill. We’re looking for a real go-getter!
KEY RESPONSIBILITIES
- Work closely with the most wretched and dangerous scum of inter-galactic society.
- Strategically plan and implement pain, death and destruction on enemy aliens.
- Save the human race.
KEY EXPERIENCE & SKILLS
- Over 80 kills to your name.
- Comfortable with a range of heavy machinery including the MC-77 Missile Launcher and the X-8A Avenger Assault Rifle.
- A practical, hands-on approach to killing.
Overall, this role requires someone who is very results driven and motivated to succeed. Failure will lead to your death and the death of all human beings, so you must work well under pressure.
Role includes company weapons and tax benefits.
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I wish I was this good as a creative writer.
Do you have those moments where you wish you'd thought of a concept first? And you know that anything else that comes after will never be good enough?
This brilliant online Ad went up on local job website "Seek".
The job advertisers certainly know their audience so well that they naturally speak the same language. It is also brilliantly executed – if you'll forgive the pun.
Churches can learn two principles from this excellent example:
1) We need to always speak our primary audience's language. Not try and get them to speak ours.
2) Great ideas alone don't matter. It's how we execute them that counts.
The Ad has worked so well that it is going viral beyond it's intended audience to the likes of you and I.
You too can apply for the job. Engage Mr Worf. Sorry, wrong genre.
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